People think that being on the spiritual path is all about being joyful and seeing everything from the positive side. The spiritual path is about discovering yourself and experiencing it. Along with having beautiful things inside of us, there are also darker parts which we overlook or ignore. And on this journey it all comes out because we are the fullness of these things. Regardless of whether or not we like these darker parts they still exist.
Over time, I have learned that I don’t need to love these parts, but I need to acknowledge their existence. Half of the time, I find myself putting all my energy into denying their existence. That is why when someone points out a part that I don’t like it hurts; because I didn’t take the time to acknowledge it.
You can not control what people think of you and for sure, you cannot make them stop saying things you don’t like. But you can make a change in yourself.
What I am about to say might sound like an easy step but it has been one of the most challenging things in the world for me, which is accepting myself as I am. When we see these unwanted parts in ourselves and simply acknowledge them, we can come to peace with our existence. To try and prove that we are something other than what we are is not only energy and time consuming, but also implicitly tells God that we think He made a mistake in His creation. It is not easy to do it but we must all come to this step of acceptance at the end.
I don’t know how it feels to be in full bliss. But I know what peace feels like from my spiritual practices, when my mind is calm and my heart is open. And these moments give me the safe space I need to confront those darker parts and make my peace with them. I am who I am and I need to learn who that person is before telling people if they are right or wrong. I just need to simply accept myself, day after day, one step at a time, one practice at a time. After all it is called a spiritual journey, not a spiritual destination.